I'm a Dancin' Fool

I'm a dancin' fool.

Actually, more the fool because of the dancing.


For years now, weekly if not daily, I find myself at the same dance hall, standing in the stag line waiting my turn to satisfy what has become a habit (or is it a lifestyle?). I often get impatient and even jump line. Interestingly, the other patrons never object when I do.

My regular dance partner is an experienced conniver.  Many-partnered (in every sense of that phrase) with a well-developed penchant for wanting to lead rather than follow, she at once seductive, enticing and comforting in a debilitatingly diabolical manner.  I sometimes find an odd sense of security in thinking she knows me better than I know myself.

I didn't know her name until just a few years ago.  For nearly 20 years, I'd been taking regular turns around the dance floor with her, without ever mentioning her name.  I was mesmerized, I guess, by here manner of eagerly, but gently, taking my hand and rhythmically twirling me around to the beat of the day.

I eventually learned her name from authors Mark Victor Hansen and Robert Allen who warned of her in their book, The One Minute Millionaire: The Enlightened Way to Wealth.

Mrs. Yabuts.

Seductress. Provocateur. Emasculator.

She gets around; you most likely know her as well as I do.  She's the whisper in your ear every time you're ready to stretch yourself, to attempt something new, to risk something of your ego.

"Yeah but, what will [insert name here] think?"

"Yeah but, you're too old (or too young)."

"Yeah but, remember what happened last time."

"Yeah but, you don't have the time (or talent or money or connections or education or...or...or!)."

It's dangerous and devastating to dance with Mrs. Yabuts.  She lulls you into "paralysis by analysis." She stalls your momentum.  She threatens your dreams, ambitions, goals, and derails your pursuit of your purpose.  Ever enervating, she causes you to cower in the corner of your true, complete self.

"Waltzing with Mrs. Yabuts," as Hanson calls it, reminds me of the scene in the movie National Lampoon's European Vacation when Chevy Chase gets caught for hours on the inside lane of traffic on the Lambeth Bridge Roundabout, unable to make his way to  the off-ramp and towards his destination.  He literally drives in circles.  Are you doing the same with your own personal and/or career development?

How to Stop the Dance

So how do you break it off with Mrs. Yabuts?  It's not easy.  Like any bad habit, she's there to "console" you when you have even the slightest dip in confidence or enthusiasm.  Her powers can be eradicated, but, at least for me, it's a on-going process:

1.  Get a big "Why."  I'm a firm believer in owning a very big "Why" with each significant endeavor I pursue.  As Tony Robbins espouses, you must get your "why" big enough to withstand the battering it/you will take as you pursue your purpose.  And you will get battered:  emotionally, spiritually, financially, relationally.  It's inevitable.  Even scripture promises that "in this life, you will have trouble."  Know why you're pursuing your goal, get it large enough to take the beating, and you won't give up prematurely.

2.  Prepare yourself.  Confidence grows with better and thorough preparation.  As I was coached growing up playing basketball, you play the way you practice.  Practice is preparation.  Michael Hyatt writes eloquently and effectively on developing and preparing yourself.  You need to read his blogs.  Additionally, a great book you should add to your library is Dare to Prepare: How to Win Before You Begin by Ronald M. Shapiro.  An attorney, author, speaker and preparation guru, Shapiro even includes links in his book where you can download preparation checklists.

3.  Focus on the real value.  In William Paul Young's best-selling book, The Shack (Special Hardcover Edition), at one point the Holy Spirit character tells the main character that "the value isn't in the work; it's in the purpose behind the work."  Focusing on the purpose of what you're endeavoring, as opposed to the activity itself, is a massive weapon to repel Mrs. Yabuts.

4.  Outwork everybody.  I've been a fan of coaching great, Rick Pitino, since before he took over at the University of Kentucky in the early 1990s.  In his book, Success Is a Choice: Ten Steps to Overachieving in Business and Life, he writes that one of the ways to deserve success is to outwork EVERYBODY!  He wrote that he didn't know if his were the hardest working teams in the country, but because of how hard they worked and prepared, they believed they were.  It was that belief that propelled them to win the national championship in 1996 and to return to the title game in 1997.

5.  Remember: it's not about you!  It's the mantra popularized by Rick Warren in his book, The Purpose Driven Life, but it's true.  By adhering to this axiom, then you are relieved of the ego-centricity upon which Mrs. Yabuts feasts.  You are freed to move fast and to move now.

Now is the time to take off your dancing shoes and to put on your work boots.  Tell Mrs. Yabuts to take a hike!

I would to hear your comments and to hear about some of your own "dance moves" with Mrs. Yabuts.